Unanswered Prayers.

and I don’t mean the Garth Brooke ones.

When I was a little girl I loved the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. I am sure I didn’t really know exactly what that meant then, and as I grew older I could understand the idea. The idea that sometimes our prayers aren’t answered because the “no” is so much better than what we prayed. I prayed for my parents to stay together; but because that was a “no”, I gained more family to love me and to love back, more opportunity to travel and grow all over this country. I prayed to stay in Texas; but that “no” brought me to Jersey instead and I met the love of my life and we started the most amazing family surrounded by friends. I prayed for another baby, a third sweet baby to outnumber us and join our sweet family; but that “no” brought a puppy that we all needed to be a part of our lives and the graduating out of the baby stages that opens me up to be able to have more free time to minister and love on more people around me. The point is, I grew to understand what an unanswered prayer with a better outcome than I originally thought really was. My trust and faith in God has only grown through all the unanswered prayers and of course through the countless answered prayers!

But what about the unanswered prayers that you can’t seem to see the “better ending”? What about the unanswered prayers that you can’t seem to understand at all, the ones that leave you yelling at God? The ones that you pray for healing for your loved one and it’s a no? The prayers that leave you empty because you have literally prayed all your energy and heart out to, and its still a no. What then? You bargain with God, you yell at Him, you challenge Him, you give him a chance for a miracle, you give Him a chance to show off… but the answer is still no.

I have been dealing with this type of unanswered prayer lately. Losing my daddy is the worst unanswered prayer that I have ever experienced. I prayed for his healing without ceasing, I cried, I worshiped, I begged, I gave God the power in that situation. But still I sat there in the hospital and watched as my daddy took his last labored breath in this world and join God in heaven. That is one of the unanswered prayers that I am not sure I will ever understand the reasoning behind it.

I know that I am not the only one that has ever experienced this. You are sitting there now reading this with that unanswered prayer you hold tightly in your heart, possibly with sadness and confusion. There are two things we can do with those prayers. We can keep holding it with bitterness, hardening our hearts, allowing it to overshadow what God is going to do; or we can give it to God and praise Him anyways, thank Him anyways, trust in Him anyways.

I recently had the chance to hear Leeana Tankersley speak about her book Hope Anyway. She talks about even when we are going through our grief and pain, we can hope anyways. And not a hope that says “I hope they have my size in those cute boots” or “I hope they have my favorite donuts here”, but a hope that’s much deeper. A hope in God’s character that says “I will believe in God, I will put my hope and trust in God despite the outcome because my circumstances may change, but God never does”. I have been hanging on to that hope lately. God needed my daddy in heaven, and I do not understand it because we all needed him here so much; but I will trust in God because He is all knowing, powerful, in control and I am not.

I get that it is easier for me than most because I have always been the person that can look at both sides of a situation or put the shoe on the other foot kinda girl, but its so necessary. You have to look at every side of a situation. I “naturally” went into menopause at 36 when I was trying to have a 3rd baby, but God worked through that to heal me from years and years of pain and hurt from my endometriosis. And before that, I was blessed with 2 perfect children that I never thought I really could have. I hurt my knee years ago and have dealt with so much pain but have powered through and a simple surgery left me feeling better than ever (but another surgery left me needing more time for physical therapy than i thought, but I still have time!). I lived in New Jersey for 13 years hoping to leave one day thinking it would never happen, only to have my husband out of no where decide we should move South, and now we both feel ‘home’ for the first time together. I lost my daddy when I felt like I needed him the most, but God used it to draw me closer than ever and made me appreciate the amazing 38 years I got to have him as my daddy! It has made me appreciate all those that God has brought into my life and how precious time really is.

So when I think about unanswered prayers, I don’t intend to always look at the positive side, that everything will be unicorn and rainbows, but that the creator of the universe, the Savior of this world, the God that knows all can be hoped in, trusted in, praised, and continued to be allowed into our lives. Not because He is always going to give us the outcome we want, but He is always gong to remain faithful and will never leave our sides through whatever will come.

Find your hope today. Even if that means finding it through the tears, through the pain, through the hurt, through the confusion… find it in the comfort of a God who never leaves us, never abandons us, is always good.